#Escort websites reddit full#
You’re looking at paying either $279 for a full yearlong membership, $100 for two months, or $200 for about a quarter of a year.
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You’ll have to upgrade your membership to actually read and leave reviews of the girls. That is one of the significant downsides of this site. Well, you won’t actually be able to see the reviews. Erotic Monkey gets that, and it wants to help you get straight to business – fuck all the bullshit!Ĭan Get Real Expensive, Real QuickSo, what you’ll find in the middle of the page when you arrive at Erotic Monkey is a list of the newest escort reviews. After all, by the time you think to yourself, ‘hey, maybe I’ll order myself an escort,’ chances are you’re already extremely horny. Erotic Monkey automatically detects your location and immediately provides you with beautiful pieces of ass within 50 miles or so of you, making your life a hell of a lot easier. You won’t even have to go out of your way to find girls in your area. And as soon as you land on the site’s home page, it should become abundantly clear just why that is the case. Their slogan, found below an image of a smiling monkey holding onto a phallic banana, is “never spank your monkey again.” It’s all starting to make sense, isn’t it? Either way, Erotic Monkey is one of the leading escort review sites on the internet. An unusual name, for sure, probably derived from the fact that guys like us are mostly just horny baboons – hairy, constantly clutching our bananas, and always looking for a quick fuck. Others will be lacking in one or more of those features, and some are just straight-up shit and should be avoided like herpes.ĭo it Like They Do on the Discovery ChannelOne of the most popular escort review sites out there is known as Erotic Monkey. Some are awesome, really easy to use, have convenient search engines with tons of filters to help you find the perfect girl, and provide all the information you’ll need to get ahold of the girl. And, just like with any website, not all of them are created equal. If you’ve never done it before, I say fuck it, just give it a shot!Īs you probably could imagine, there are a fuck ton of escort ad and escort review sites out there to choose from. Plus, it saves you a whole lot of time and energy, since you won’t have to try and woo her or seduce her into fucking you. Quit being such a pussy and just get over the fucking stigma already. Why not cut out all the extra hassle and extra steps and just give a girl money directly without having to cross your fingers about whether or not you’re going to get some ass out of it? It’s much more honest and direct. You know, paying for sex gets a bad rep and all, but have you ever stopped to consider why, or whether or not that rep is warranted? What is so shameful about it paying for sex? Don’t we all kind of pay for sex, in one way or another, when it comes down to it? Think about it whether you’re paying a girl directly for sex, or you’re taking her out on dates and paying for dinner and drinks, you’re still spending money with the end goal of getting some pussy, right? You might be thinking that ordering an escort is below you. If you have a little bit of money to spare, that is. Luckily, it’s never been easier to find an escort in your city than it is today, which means that you – yes, even a fat, lazy slob such as yourself – can get laid pretty much on demand any day of the week. Not that most guys use the internet a whole lot for learning. Well, lucky for you, we live in the information age. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if a sexy slut could just show up at your door within the hour, willing to do anything you command her to do? That takes time, probably money (to buy her drinks, etc.), and effort. I mean, that would be the easy thing to do, right? A hell of a lot easier than going out and trying to actually bang a chick. There is a 99% chance that all you were going to do tonight before reading this article was jack off, eat something, and go to bed alone. Escort reviews at "The Erotic Monkey", aka "Escort Monkey"? WTF? Is this some bestiality site, or what? Anyways, first things first let’s face facts.
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